I knew my grandmother only 27 of the 90 something years she lived but we were old friends. If she was around, I was always close by. It's that soul connection you have with people, it exists before you meet and I'm so grateful to share that with her. I'm grateful to have said my I love you's and my goodbye's every time I departed. We don't know when people will leave us and I much rather leave in love than anything else.
My grandmother along with her husband and children got in a boat to escape Vietnam in 1979; they didn't know where they were going, or if they would even survive out at sea. They took the chance and embarked on their journey with faith, optimism and good intention, drifting to shore in Malaysia, on to Italy for a year, finally to arrive and reside in California. My grandmother had to bury many of her children and her husband but she kept on living. She is the most beautiful being I've ever known, inside and out. Her kind loving spirit gave life to us. Her hair and nails were always done, I mean, ALWAYS. Can't forget that she had the smoothest fairest skin of anyone even at the age of 90. She'd been through a lot but she never let her past pains keep her from living a full life and for that I am inspired. Life is for living.
Love, real love, never dies, it never leaves us, it loves you whether you are near or far, short or tall, big or small, young or old. Of course we want to hold our loved ones close, laugh and look into their eyes, but part of love, the hardest part, is letting go. Letting people continue on their journey, but the love never ceases. It uplifts them and keeps them safe when we are not around. Knowing that I'll never paint her nails or share a meal with her hurts me to my core but in love we let go. So I love you, go. I am hopeful I will see her again, until then I will keep the memories safe.
Maybe sometimes we must wash our eyes with tears so that we can see more clearly. And oh have I cried my little eyes out. I have never seen more clearly than I do now. I am grateful for the pain. I am grateful for the love. The paradox is that if you love until it hurts, there isn't any more hurt, only love. I'm working through the hurt so there is only love. I know that I must live from love, through love, to love. And that's what I shall do.
Life is for living, yes there will be a bit of pain and problems along the way, but we can navigate through it. If my grandma can do it, you can too.
Let's not let the circumstances of our lives harden us that we become resentful and afraid. Let the circumstances soften us and make us courageous, kind and loving. We have the choice. I wish you the courage to choose kindness and love.
Always,
V
