Yoga BTS

A little Yoga BTS with my friend Hope Reiners for Mahana.




Warrior I from Vanessa Doan on Vimeo.

Just how much do we love truth?

In the end, we return to the question, just how much do you love truth?
Do you really love truth or are you just curious?
Do you love it enough to rebuild your understanding to align to a reality that doesn't fit your current beliefs, and doesn't feel 120% happy?
Do you love truth enough to continue seeking even when it hurts, when it reveals aspects of yourself, or human society or the universe that are shocking, complex and disturbing or humbling, glorious and amazing- or even when truth is far beyond human mind itself?
Just how much do we love truth?
It's a good question to ask ourselves, I think.
-Scott Mandelker

Yoga on the Rim

I went on a spontaneous camping adventure to Arizona with my friend Jimmy, and Max came too! Jimmy is a sort of expert outdoorsman while I didn't even own a sleeping bag.

I pitched my first tent, slept in a sleeping bag and cooked dinner on a fire in the darkness of night.

We stayed one night in Sedona, AZ, the red rocks are beautiful! I have never seen so many stars in my life!  This Universe is grand and infinite, seeing all the stars, made me feel small, and then I realized my sorrows are even smaller. Though my pains may feel heavy some days, they are not as significant as the complexities and beauty this world offers.

On day two, we traveled to see The Grand Canyon.  I did not know much about this place except for it's on the list of places to visit in the world, like the Eiffel Tower or the Pyramids.  Jimmy suggested I do a yoga session at the canyon. He would take pictures. Sure, I said.

Yoga on the rim of The Grand Canyon, is the scariest thing I have ever done. Standing on the edge, I had to keep my focus on being grounded, back to basics in all my postures, I could not think about falling, or I would fall.  I've practiced these postures may times, in a room, with even flooring; it was challenging to feel the uneven earth and to look forth onto the other side which was 15 miles ahead of me, and a canyon that's about a mile deep in between. Then it came time to do a headstand, I couldn't get up. My heart was beating fast, I was nervous, because if I fell, I would roll off this cliff. I kept trying, finally I got up! I stayed for a bit, then to come down slowly and safely. I did it! I didn't fall! I didn't kill my self! I felt liberated.

I am reminded, life is to be lived on the rim, the space where you are doing with effort, when it's scary but you keep going, between too much and not enough, between knowing you can and doubting your abilities.  I'm glad to have experienced yoga on the rim, because that's what yoga is, it's on the rim.

Thank you to a dear friend who let me crash his trip to see The Grand Canyon and for being an encouraging presence. Until the next adventure!

Budapest Ness

I took a holiday to Budapest, Hungary.  I was intrigued by the history and culture and left with many new friends from all around the world.  I visited most of the tourist sites: Fisherman's Bastion, Central Market Hall, The Parliament...the list goes on.  These sites were beautiful and full of a rich history, what I did not expect was to come across so many friendly, warm people along the way.

For those who know me, in my regular life, I'm usually costuming or studying yoga, in bed by 10PM, this was not the case in Budapest.  Janelle and I stayed up until morning!  That is not my life!  People were very curious about where we were from, a black girl and an Asian girl traveling together really threw them off.  It was a good conversation starter.  People demanded I was from Asia.  It was endearing. The night life in Budapest is very casual, everyone is out to have fun and talk to those around them, I love that. We met so many cool people, talked until the morning and went on adventures with them the next day.  It reaffirms that it doesn't matter where we come from or what we do for a living but when there's a connection from human to human we can all get along and even share some laughs.

My experience in Budapest really opened my eyes to living in another country.  I love my home here in LA, I am grateful to own a home and share it with my pup Max, taking walks around the lake everyday but I realize that I could make a life almost anywhere.  Until the next adventure! Enjoy the photos. =)
If you can't view the slideshow, click here.

The Way Of Love

1 Corinthians 13:1 - 3

The Way of Love 
If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.
If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.
If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

The Architecture of Peace

Yoga, what a powerful thing indeed.

I visited Michael O'Neil's On Yoga: The Architecture of Peace at the Taschen gallery in West Hollywood.

Yoga is deep y'all. As I walked up, I felt excited to visit the gallery, almost giddy, like a child. Walking around, seeing all the imagery, I felt something deeply, I started crying! Just me, walking around this gallery on a Wednesday afternoon crying. I'm sensitive.

The images of people committing themselves to something greater than themselves, committed to a spiritual life, a life beyond this flesh. This body of ours, it is also fleeting, though we do use it as a means to practice and discover.  Seeing the portrait of "One Arm", a sadhu, had me mesmerized. He has one arm! And a ring around his penis! (Totally not for sexual pleasure.) He wears a crown of rudraskha beads (he strung together the beads with one hand and a stick), no clothes, instead, covers his body in ashes (a symbol of death and rebirth). I mean, come on, that's real dedication and some of us can't even commit to going to the gym. Some of us think our bodies or their parts define who we are as people. Let's look deeper.

What really got me as I walked around, was the mural of "The Roots of Yoga," as soon as I saw the names B.K.S Iyengar (illustrated hanging upside down), Geeta and Prashant, I lost it. It was right there on the wall that I'm part of something bigger than I could ever imagine. And yes, we know we are part of a very big universe, but when it's right in front of you like that, you feel things. I'm grateful to be part of this architecture of peace, this path that is infinite and I'm figuring my way along it.

There were so many beautiful portraits, some of yogis I've heard of before, and some not. It really opened my perspective of yoga and all the different ways it manifests.

Yoga is not about being physically flexible, touching your toes or contorting your body, it's about the union of your outer self to your inner self, renunciation of the material world. It's about connecting with each other and to something greater than ourselves and we do that through practice. Through earnest, honest practice.

Why do we practice? Why do we go to class? To say we go? To look good?  To bring a sense of closeness and intergration within ourselves and the world we live in? We go to class but are we practicing yoga? We must find out.

I am grateful to Yoga, I am a beginner in my studies and I look forward to whatever I find within.

Blessings to you and your practice.

Conscience ask the question...

Courage is an inner resolution to go forward despite obstacles.
Cowardice is submissive surrender to circumstances.
Courage breeds creativity; Cowardice represses fear and is mastered by it.
Cowardice asks the question, is it safe?
Expediency ask the question, is it politic?
Vanity asks the question, is it popular?
But, conscience ask the question, is it right?
And there comes a time when we must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but one must take it because it is right.
-Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Rap and Yoga: The truth of it

I practice a lot of yoga and I listen to a lot of rap.  Alot of people, mostly all people who know me, think that I'm a bit odd for this.  It doesn't make sense, how a little Asian gal can love rap music so much but also practice so much yoga.  I really do, from my soul love rap music and love yoga.  I guess if we are looking at these two things on the surface they seem very different.  Often times, yoga imagery is depicted as pretty girls who are flexible, wear colorful pants, flowers in their hair and live some sort of "holistic" "vegan" life style while images of rappers are of them flashing their hoes, money, cars, living life in the streets.  On the surface level, yoga and rap music appear to be worlds away from each other, but if we look deeper; the core of Yoga and the core of rap music is the same, it's truth.

Yoga is about living your true self, connecting yourself to who you really are and living from that space.  The path of yoga is shedding all the suffering, to discover who you really are.  It's about realness and honesty.  The goal of yoga is enligtenment but we cannot practice with the goal in mind, then you are not practicing yoga-but that's another topic to be discussed.  While rap music, is letting truths be known, it's a way to shed our suffering, through lyrics, through music.  And if we know anything about hip hop, it's for reals.  Keepin it 100. How many times have you heard a rapper say that?

So if we really know what Yoga is about and we really know what rap is about, it's not so odd that they are more similar in their core than they are different.  No wonder these two facets are a huge part of my life.  I've been listening to rap music since I was 8 years old, and I could not tell you what drew me to it in the first place. (My parents were definitely not listening to Biggie or TuPac around the house and they weren't too thrilled that I was either.) Since I discovered yoga, I have earnestly practiced. The more I practice, the more I can see. I never questioned why I like what I like and why I live how I live, I just do it and I'm gaining more clarity each day. The more I practice, the more parallels of rap music and of Yoga I find.  Still I think many people may disagree or find it odd but maybe it's because we are not used to looking at things for what they really are but instead making judgments when we can only see the surface. The surface is fleeting, it's ever changing, the core of us, the spirit of who we are, that doesn't change, and we should let that part of us shine.

This life can be hard to live and it takes a lot of courage to speak the truth and more courage to live it.  The power of yoga is to be comfortable with who you truly are and live from there.  The power of yoga is living your truth and not letting anyone tell you other wise.  Dr. Cornel West says, "The telling of truth allows suffering to speak." So continue to shed your suffering, whatever your practice may be, and allow your truth to shine. Don't let em kill yo shine, you betta live!!

Happy Birthday to Guruji!

December is a special time of year. Along with the holidays, are birthdays of a few of my favorite yoga people. B.K.S Iyengar, his daughter Geeta Iyengar as well as my yoga mentor Dora Hasenbein all have December birthdays right around each other.

I did not have the chance to study with or meet Guruji, he passed the day of my birthday (or day after- depending on your view of time) but his presence is certainly felt. And it was surely felt when I visited Pune, India in December 2014 to study with Geeta.

Geeta is so dope! She's one of my favorite people. Everyone knows how smart and wise she is; she's also super witty, I was constantly giggling to myself during the sessions. Her words are quick and there's always a lesson in them. She also has mad style.  She wore beautiful scarves and these golden pants to class every day. She's my kind of lady. I adore her. I wish I could hang out with her, just to listen to her, maybe drink some tea. Maybe if I was older and lived in Pune we could have been friends, maybe in the next life. :)

Me meeting Geetaji in Pune, India-December 2014.

I met Dora in 2009, in my last year at school. I used to take classes here and there, but then I moved to Los Feliz and I didn't see her much. I started coming back a few years ago and my practice became more regular. I mentioned to her I'd like to teach one day and she's been guiding me since.  I thought it would be years from now when I'm almost done with my costuming career, but here I am, apprenticing. I'm so grateful to have a mentor in Dora. I didn't know it would all come so quickly but I'm glad it is going the way it is.
Happy Birthday to a few of my favorite yoga people! Thank you for your wisdom, your compassion, your light. Thank you.

Nessa In Pune Mini Movie

I recently came across some footage that I took while I was in Pune, India last December.  I can't believe it was almost a year ago. 
Before embarking on this little journey, I had no expectations.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  I just knew I had to be there. It turned out to be one of the greatest experiences of my life (granted I'm still in my 20s but still, it was amazing). I forgot how much I loved being there, I forgot how valuable that experience was to me and the process of putting together this little video reminded me of what a wonderful time in my life that was.
I'm grateful for everyone who supported me while I planned my trip, who supported and loved me while I was in Pune, and who welcomed me with such warmth upon my arrival back.  I am deeply grateful and am blessed to have shared it with the individuals back home and the ones I met while I was in Pune.
So this video is dedicated to all of you, and the Iyengar community, with so much loving kindness, thank you.
Check out the original post with photos here, Nessa in Pune.

Falling In Love Is the Easy Part

This is an honest, vulnerable talk on love.

Here's the original article, To Fall in Love with Anyone Do This.
Here's the set of questions, The 36 Questions that Lead to Love.

I have a funny story about this article/video. This video was sent to my inbox recently by TED talks though I've been asked the first few of these 36 love questions a while back and I didn't know it was part of a science project at the time.  I thought it was a cute idea when it was proposed to me and I'm all for sharing in an honest and deep way.  Maybe it didn't work out because we didn't get through all 36 or maybe it was because we didn't choose love when it got hard. Who knows.  But what I do know about love is that when it's real, it lasts.  And what I realize when I look back is that love is terrifying and I was terrified.  And I hope to be more courageous the next time love comes around.

A few things that resonate with me from Catron's article and video: 
Love didn’t happen to us. We’re in love because we each made the choice to be.
There are many times in a relationship we must choose love, to choose our partner every time and we hope that the other person will do the same, but all we can do is hope.

The moment you admit to loving someone, you admit to having a lot to lose.  

This one is rough.  You've let yourself be vulnerable, that's terrifying! It takes a lot of courage to admit to loving someone.  You're putting yourself out there saying "Hey, I have all these feelings for you and I don't know if you feel the same way. I'm hoping you do too..."  Then where do you go from there?  What if s/he doesn't feel the same?  What if s/he isn't ready? What if s/he has 2 babies and a crazy baby mama/daddy and lives with her/his uncle in a trap house?  There's all kinds of craziness that could affect the outcome of your relationship but at least you had the courage to admit it.  That's the beginning of it all, isn't it?

How do you stay in love when things get difficult and how do you know when to cut and run.   

This one is tough for me because I try harder when things get difficult.  I may stay longer and fight for people more than I should, I may be too patient. Maybe because I love really hard and when I commit myself to something I do so with earnestness and great dedication.  I'm not sure yet, I'm still discovering.  What I do know is it's hard sometimes and we make it what we choose to make it.

How do you live with the doubt that creeps into every relationship.  How do you live with your partner's doubt.
Every relationship has doubts that creep in.  Everything I've ever done had doubts creep in but just like everything I've ever done, doubts do not serve me.  I have to let doubts go.  And so in everything I do, just like in love, I move forth with an open heart and good intention.  Guruji B.K.S Iyengar said, "Nothing is achieved by a mind that doubts."  So if we let those doubts in to our relationship, it won't work.  But if we let it flow and grow organically, it has the better chance to flourish. I can only let go of mine, but my partner's doubt I have no control over.  I don't think I could be with someone who had doubts, it feels a little cynical.  What we believe, we manifest  I like the idea of creating a myth, a fairy tale, a love story that's all our own.  It's not going to be easy but I'm going to choose love every time.  I could never betray my heart.
I've never shared so much about my love life before, it's a little scary though I can't be the only one out here a little terrified, a little unsure, a little worried about when he's going to show up and how it's all going to go down.  I look forward to it though, as I'm learning about what it means to love and to be loved.  Dear future husband, I look forward to loving you. We got this. =)

Santa Cruzin

Growing up in the bay area I rarely made it down to Santa Cruz, CA but I am so glad I got the chance! I love exploring new places and having yoga be the reason I get there in the first place has been a blessing!  About a year ago I took Kofi Busia's workshop in LA, from that day I knew I had to study with him again! And so, he had his Autumn Equinox Intensive and I signed myself up!  Good luck for me that I'm on hiatus now and timing worked out perfectly.
A few things I noticed while exploring:
-Lots of beards and backpacks
-I've never seen so many people with dreads (and none of the people were black!)
-People are friendly -I had a lot of people greet me with smiles and even say very nice things to me as I walked around.
-There are a lot of pups around (Max couldn't make it out this time.)

In my exploring I visited the Santa Cruz Museum of Art & History.  I saw jewelry made out of things found on the beach, one necklace was made out of tampon applicators. I don't know how I feel about that one (you can see in the slideshow). The 2nd exhibit, Uncommon Threads was pretty cool too, being I have an affinity for clothes and all.  The 3rd exhibit, showcased the history of how surfing started on the west coast; it was introduced by 3 Hawaiin princes, and it all began in Santa Cruz. They made their boards out of the redwoods that were (and still are) growing all over the area. I had a great time at the museum, if you can make it out there it's definitely worth it.  Shout out to Scarlett who let me charge my phone at the front desk. =)

Now the yoga...Studying with Kofi. Oh man. What a special way to study.  Self study. Yoga study.  He's a special kind of person and certainly a special kind of teacher. I'm so grateful to have spent the time with him.  As I deepen my practice I find that what I'm learning, reaffirms my path and in that, my path of yoga. There comes a clarity in understanding and in being. I guess I've been practicing yoga I just didn't know it was yoga. Mr. Kofi teaches beyond the mat, it's life lessons really, it's real yoga!  He's so dope and has one of the coolest looks with his pullover sweaters, sweat slacks and the most killah mustache. Here's one of my favorite Kofi videos.  I watch this whenever I feel a little self doubt and it reminds me of what I'm doing here.

Thank you to Santa Cruz for a lovely visit. Until next time, namaste y'all.

Namaste

Pastor Eddie D. Smith Sr. shares what Namaste means. =)

I recently went to a yoga lecture with Phillip Goldberg,  where he shared this video.  It's simply fantastic!  I love it so much! We must all honor ourselves and each other in this world, across all races, religions, ages... beyond circumstances, beyond all the stuff that may happen in this world.  We are all connected in a divine way, deep within, let us honor that part of us.  I like how Pastor Smith places his hands on his chest when he explains the word namaste.  It's from that heart center where we will find our true self.  We have been mistreating each other for much too long.  Let's treat each other with respect and kindness.  And don't forget about yourself too! I hope we can let go of whatever it is that is keeping us from who we really are and keeping us from each other.
Namaste.

International Yoga Day

Last December, the United Nations declared June 21st International Yoga Day!  Hurrah! This is the first International Yoga Day and in honor of it, I will be leading a free class. Come celebrate! Everyone is welcome. Namaste. XO. Love. Peace.

 

David Brooks: Should you live for your résumé ... or your eulogy?

I just stumbled across this video, and it almost had me in tears.  Sometimes I feel a little sad and certainly a little crazy because I'm living differently from the people around me.  From the center of who I am I know that I am here to do good and be good.  I surrender to gain strength, and I'm living from my actual self.  The more I practice, the closer I get.
It's really hard to live from the center of ourselves when everything around us says we must live for success.  Sometimes living for that external success makes us cold and calculated, we give to get instead of give to give.  We must give without expectation, because from the center of ourselves we are here to do good.
I'm not saying that career is unimportant, because it is.  It is a big part of how we move along from day to day.  It provides us with the means to live but it does not define who we are.  I am grateful and blessed to do a job that I absolutely love and continues to thrill me each day.  But aside from being a costumer, I practice being a good human being. 
And through this life, let us be saved by hope, faith, love, and the ultimate love- forgiveness.

H.S Arun visits LA

H. S Arun recently taught a weekend workshop at the LA Iyengar Institute; I attended 2 of the 3 days.  I am currently exploring different teachers and styles (all within the Iyengar umbrella) and have been greatly enjoying what I'm discovering! The paths of Yoga are many and I'm glad to be embarking on mine the way I am. =)
Arun lead class as I've never experienced: he would do a demonstration, the students would do, then he would walk around and make corrections per student, no instructions. Amazing! The practice of yoga is deeply personal, every body is different, and it changes from moment to moment, so to experience such precise and personal adjustments is a true gift.
An endearing moment among many, to me was when he asked my name and he responded with "Vinessa like Vinyasa." Along with adjustments, he came over said "Vinessa!" and would give me two thumbs. At one point, I was hanging off a chair, one leg in the air, arms over head, trying to lift my head to see him because I think I need to change something but he was just giving positive reinforcement.  It makes the practice more enjoyable and is just as important as correcting students.
After Sunday class, I and a few other students had the honor of sharing a meal with Arun.  I listened to him share stories of his family, Indian traditions and societal views, Yoga, and of Guruji B.K.S Iyengar.  I'm so grateful!  This Yoga life is treating me so well and I am not asking for anything different.
He recently celebrated his 60th birthday and his students created a short film about his life, watch it below!  Also, here's a link to his website, Yogashraya.