The Way Of Love

1 Corinthians 13:1 - 3

The Way of Love 
If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.
If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.
If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

Falling In Love Is the Easy Part

This is an honest, vulnerable talk on love.

Here's the original article, To Fall in Love with Anyone Do This.
Here's the set of questions, The 36 Questions that Lead to Love.

I have a funny story about this article/video. This video was sent to my inbox recently by TED talks though I've been asked the first few of these 36 love questions a while back and I didn't know it was part of a science project at the time.  I thought it was a cute idea when it was proposed to me and I'm all for sharing in an honest and deep way.  Maybe it didn't work out because we didn't get through all 36 or maybe it was because we didn't choose love when it got hard. Who knows.  But what I do know about love is that when it's real, it lasts.  And what I realize when I look back is that love is terrifying and I was terrified.  And I hope to be more courageous the next time love comes around.

A few things that resonate with me from Catron's article and video: 
Love didn’t happen to us. We’re in love because we each made the choice to be.
There are many times in a relationship we must choose love, to choose our partner every time and we hope that the other person will do the same, but all we can do is hope.

The moment you admit to loving someone, you admit to having a lot to lose.  

This one is rough.  You've let yourself be vulnerable, that's terrifying! It takes a lot of courage to admit to loving someone.  You're putting yourself out there saying "Hey, I have all these feelings for you and I don't know if you feel the same way. I'm hoping you do too..."  Then where do you go from there?  What if s/he doesn't feel the same?  What if s/he isn't ready? What if s/he has 2 babies and a crazy baby mama/daddy and lives with her/his uncle in a trap house?  There's all kinds of craziness that could affect the outcome of your relationship but at least you had the courage to admit it.  That's the beginning of it all, isn't it?

How do you stay in love when things get difficult and how do you know when to cut and run.   

This one is tough for me because I try harder when things get difficult.  I may stay longer and fight for people more than I should, I may be too patient. Maybe because I love really hard and when I commit myself to something I do so with earnestness and great dedication.  I'm not sure yet, I'm still discovering.  What I do know is it's hard sometimes and we make it what we choose to make it.

How do you live with the doubt that creeps into every relationship.  How do you live with your partner's doubt.
Every relationship has doubts that creep in.  Everything I've ever done had doubts creep in but just like everything I've ever done, doubts do not serve me.  I have to let doubts go.  And so in everything I do, just like in love, I move forth with an open heart and good intention.  Guruji B.K.S Iyengar said, "Nothing is achieved by a mind that doubts."  So if we let those doubts in to our relationship, it won't work.  But if we let it flow and grow organically, it has the better chance to flourish. I can only let go of mine, but my partner's doubt I have no control over.  I don't think I could be with someone who had doubts, it feels a little cynical.  What we believe, we manifest  I like the idea of creating a myth, a fairy tale, a love story that's all our own.  It's not going to be easy but I'm going to choose love every time.  I could never betray my heart.
I've never shared so much about my love life before, it's a little scary though I can't be the only one out here a little terrified, a little unsure, a little worried about when he's going to show up and how it's all going to go down.  I look forward to it though, as I'm learning about what it means to love and to be loved.  Dear future husband, I look forward to loving you. We got this. =)

To the Ones Who Leave Us

Never in my life have I felt so much pain, yet also so much love.  The feelings are unfathomable.  I didn't know I had the capacity to feel everything I felt.  This little body of mine has been through much these past few weeks but I would not have it any other way.  I have laid to rest too many people the past weeks and through all the pain, I find myself living in more love. I'm reaffirmed that love is the energy that holds us together.

I knew my grandmother only 27 of the 90 something years she lived but we were old friends.  If she was around, I was always close by. It's that soul connection you have with people, it exists before you meet and I'm so grateful to share that with her.  I'm grateful to have said my I love you's and my goodbye's every time I departed. We don't know when people will leave us and I much rather leave in love than anything else.

My grandmother along with her husband and children got in a boat to escape Vietnam in 1979; they didn't know where they were going, or if they would even survive out at sea.  They took the chance  and embarked on their journey with faith, optimism and good intention, drifting to shore in Malaysia, on to Italy for a year, finally to arrive and reside in California. My grandmother had to bury many of her children and her husband but she kept on living.  She is the most beautiful being I've ever known, inside and out.  Her kind loving spirit gave life to us.  Her hair and nails were always done, I mean, ALWAYS.  Can't forget that she had the smoothest fairest skin of anyone even at the age of 90. She'd been through a lot but she never let her past pains keep her from living a full life and for that I am inspired.  Life is for living.  

Love, real love, never dies, it never leaves us, it loves you whether you are near or far, short or tall, big or small, young or old.  Of course we want to hold our loved ones close, laugh and look into their eyes, but part of love, the hardest part, is letting go.  Letting people continue on their journey, but the love never ceases.  It uplifts them and keeps them safe when we are not around.  Knowing that I'll never paint her nails or share a meal with her hurts me to my core but in love we let go. So I love you, go. I am hopeful I will see her again, until then I will keep the memories safe.

Maybe sometimes we must wash our eyes with tears so that we can see more clearly.  And oh have I cried my little eyes out.  I have never seen more clearly than I do now.  I am grateful for the pain.  I am grateful for the love.  The paradox is that if you love until it hurts, there isn't any more hurt, only love.  I'm working through the hurt so there is only love.  I know that I must live from love, through love, to love. And that's what I shall do.

Life is for living, yes there will be a bit of pain and problems along the way, but we can navigate through it.  If my grandma can do it, you can too.

Let's not let the circumstances of our lives harden us that we become resentful and afraid. Let the circumstances soften us and make us courageous, kind and loving.  We have the choice.  I wish you the courage to choose kindness and love.

Always,
V

Today is Tito's Birthday

To remember Tito today I share with you "The Many Faces of Tito." I miss this fluffy guy.