To the Ones Who Leave Us

Never in my life have I felt so much pain, yet also so much love.  The feelings are unfathomable.  I didn't know I had the capacity to feel everything I felt.  This little body of mine has been through much these past few weeks but I would not have it any other way.  I have laid to rest too many people the past weeks and through all the pain, I find myself living in more love. I'm reaffirmed that love is the energy that holds us together.

I knew my grandmother only 27 of the 90 something years she lived but we were old friends.  If she was around, I was always close by. It's that soul connection you have with people, it exists before you meet and I'm so grateful to share that with her.  I'm grateful to have said my I love you's and my goodbye's every time I departed. We don't know when people will leave us and I much rather leave in love than anything else.

My grandmother along with her husband and children got in a boat to escape Vietnam in 1979; they didn't know where they were going, or if they would even survive out at sea.  They took the chance  and embarked on their journey with faith, optimism and good intention, drifting to shore in Malaysia, on to Italy for a year, finally to arrive and reside in California. My grandmother had to bury many of her children and her husband but she kept on living.  She is the most beautiful being I've ever known, inside and out.  Her kind loving spirit gave life to us.  Her hair and nails were always done, I mean, ALWAYS.  Can't forget that she had the smoothest fairest skin of anyone even at the age of 90. She'd been through a lot but she never let her past pains keep her from living a full life and for that I am inspired.  Life is for living.  

Love, real love, never dies, it never leaves us, it loves you whether you are near or far, short or tall, big or small, young or old.  Of course we want to hold our loved ones close, laugh and look into their eyes, but part of love, the hardest part, is letting go.  Letting people continue on their journey, but the love never ceases.  It uplifts them and keeps them safe when we are not around.  Knowing that I'll never paint her nails or share a meal with her hurts me to my core but in love we let go. So I love you, go. I am hopeful I will see her again, until then I will keep the memories safe.

Maybe sometimes we must wash our eyes with tears so that we can see more clearly.  And oh have I cried my little eyes out.  I have never seen more clearly than I do now.  I am grateful for the pain.  I am grateful for the love.  The paradox is that if you love until it hurts, there isn't any more hurt, only love.  I'm working through the hurt so there is only love.  I know that I must live from love, through love, to love. And that's what I shall do.

Life is for living, yes there will be a bit of pain and problems along the way, but we can navigate through it.  If my grandma can do it, you can too.

Let's not let the circumstances of our lives harden us that we become resentful and afraid. Let the circumstances soften us and make us courageous, kind and loving.  We have the choice.  I wish you the courage to choose kindness and love.

Always,
V

Banessa in Ensenada

My friend Nelle and I took a mini vacation last week to Ensenada, Baja Caliofornia.  It was really nice to get out of the city even if it was just for a few days.  We took a cruise out of Long Beach, spent a day in Ensenada, one day at sea, and back the following day.
Some highlights:
The dinners were very nice, and tasty.  We could eat as much of anything as we wanted on the menu!  Good for me because I always want to try something new.  I'm also the queen of having a variety of drinks I don't finish. =)
Spending the day in Ensenada was very fun.  We walked the market, which is very similar to our swap meets here in LA.  Or should I say our swap meets are similar to those in Mexico. First things first, I got some churros. Lunch consisted of tacos, grilled clams, which I've never had and they were delicious, and of course some coconut for me.  I love coconut.
During our day at sea, we saw some shows, went to tea time, and played Harry Potter trivia.  Nelle is a self proclaimed Harry Potter aficionada. I know nothing about Harry Potter so we were counting on Nelle, I assisted by drawing picture of her answers.  We didn't do so well, 9 out of 21.
There was a farewell party on our last night, Nelle and some others were picked out of the crowd to have a dance off and she won! Nelle was crowned queen of the ball!
Enjoy the pics! 


 

Thank you to my dear friend Nelle for taking me on a mini vacation.

I hope that you all are able to take a little time for yourself, love yourself and be good to yourself.  Also, let others be good to you.  I'm working on these things and I am grateful to those who are good to me. XOXO

Yoga of Union, Yoga of Diversity

THIS. IS. EVERYTHING.
I honor the place in you which is of truth, and I appreciate and love you for it!  Sometimes we forget, life gets a little hard.  I hope that you honor your light and each day brings you closer to your true essence. These things are hard to remember and even harder to practice, but that's why we practice. Sending you all so much love and peace.

P.S I took a workshop a few months ago lead by Kofi, it was the most spiritual practice I've ever experienced.

And here's a little something funny to go along with... UNITYYYY. ;)

Love Liberates-Maya Angelou

I write down a lot of quotes and things I find along my way, and Dr. Maya Angelou has written and said many great things.  I came across the video to a quote I had written down a while back "Love liberates, it does not hold-that's ego," and it reminded me of what love does, and how it acts.  Sharing this with you as it has touched my spirit in a deep way and as a little reminder on how we love.  

Nessa in Pune

Hi, it's been a while.  Good news is, I made it to Pune, India and I made it back!

Many people have been asking me "How was it?" "Are you all zen now?" "Are you a certified yoga instructor?"  So many questions and all I can say is "It was wonderful, truly wonderful."  I'm having a hard time describing in words what my experience of traveling to India and back was but what I knew for certain when I decided to take this journey is that I was supposed to be there, and my certainty was reaffirmed each day I was there.  Before I left, people asked me "Aren't you scared?"  And I didn't feel scared at all, except for the night before, I had a moment when I woke up and thought to myself "Who do I think I am?  I'm a young female, traveling across the world, by myself, to a country where I don't know anyone and don't speak the language.  People get kidnapped and killed!"  I really had a moment, but then I remembered that I am embarking on this journey with an open heart and good intention and those things will guide me through my travels, and so they did.
So here are some photos of my travels, enjoy!

I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.  Though the path is uncertain, just like my travels to India, I move forward with an open heart and that has been my best guide.  I could not be more grateful for the life I live and for the people (and Max) who share it with me. SO THANK YOU ALL! =)